I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
