you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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