This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
