sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
