the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize