I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
