Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
