why didn't you poke me back
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
