but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize