My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
