Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
