Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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