My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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