just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just puked most of my soul out..
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
