Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
