Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
