we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
