try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
