Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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