Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
