I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
