Too much gin, very little bucket
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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