Me too!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
