u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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