Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
