Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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