and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
