I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Sorry about my life...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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