office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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