dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize