If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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