i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
