this boner is exhausting
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think my moral compass just broke
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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