Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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