I'm gonna have a badass scar
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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