thus making me awesome and them whores
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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