I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize