just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
