How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
