May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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