in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
this is an emotional support booty call
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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