I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
