so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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