I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
