this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You are the jesus of drinking
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
