Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
sarcasm needs its own font
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
