it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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