are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize