Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
