dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
