i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
