all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
