Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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