So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
