We won't sleep together?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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