is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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