Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
