i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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