Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
