i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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