Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
