If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize