i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
