Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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