and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
