HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
