You're so nebulous sometimes
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
