He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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