Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
