My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
