I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
