I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
