I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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