I got chris browned last night
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
