Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
