On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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