I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
