okay pat passed out under dana's car
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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